You may have heard people say, “Everyone has a story to tell.” That is true, but even before you tell your story, you need a story to live.
Why Stories?
While writing this essay, I broke my reading glasses. You may understand my vision became blurry. A good vision helps me focus on what is important likewise, narratives help us focus, filter, prioritize, and organize to perceive our reality.
In his recent book, ‘We Who Wrestle with God’, Jordan Peterson says, “It is the near-simultaneous discovery by literary critics, researchers into robotics and artificial intelligence, cognitive scientists and neuropsychologists alike that we do and even must perceive reality through a story. Or more accurately they discovered that a story is a portrayal of the structure through which we perceive reality.”
In reality, we focus on what is important and worth paying attention to. This is called the hierarchy of attentional prioritization. Since the world is too complicated to attend to and navigate within the absence of aim and character we create narratives to make sense of our reality.
However, it is unlike the postmodern idea of a narrative that completely replaces objective reality with subjective stories — like an illusion. That sounds like me putting on virtual reality headgear instead of the right glasses. Postmodernism rejects absolute truth, therefore it also rejects the idea of narratives that are objectively true.
Nevertheless, humans are fundamentally narrative people, our brains are wired to make sense of our world and ourselves through stories. We have been drawn to stories since the beginning; the early cave paintings and the latest Pixar movies are a testament to that. We will continue to be captivated by them even through the times of AI.
We tell a story when we describe the aspirations of a person or a people, their models, their pathway forward, the obstacles and opportunities that emerge on that journey, the friends and foes that accompany their movement and the moral landscape that emerges.
Studies also show that reading or hearing stories activates various areas of the cortex (brain) that are known to be involved in social and emotional processing, and the more people read stories, the easier they find it to empathise with other people.
Our individual real-life stories, business stories, ideological stories or the fictional stories we tell are reflections of larger overarching narratives we inhabit. Whether we are aware or not, we inhabit them, and surprisingly, we are drawn to the ones that our models inhabit.
For example, if you watch a 10-year-old you will notice they live in a world of their favourite Anime or Disney characters and their narratives. They imitate them and want to be identified with their values and aspirations and pursue to be like them. For them, they can become more real than their reality because they see themselves in their models.
What Are They Like?
These overarching “big picture” stories are called Meta-Narratives, they are like an all-encompassing theme that unites all smaller themes and individual stories. They serve as a foundation for how we understand the world around us just like the worldviews.
Cultural myths and epics which are mostly ancient are such meta-narratives. They are not just religions, they could be political, existential, social theories, etc. Besides these traditional narratives, we have other popular narratives like the American Dream, Rags to Riches, the Scientific Method, Climate Change etc.
For example, if one inhabits the Rags to Riches narrative, he might idolise the poster boys of this narrative, dream to be identified with them, prioritise wealth above all things in life and even justify every action towards that end. His identity and self-worth are established by attaining wealth. This is how narratives shape our identity, aspirations, values and purpose.
Why Are We Drawn To Narratives?
Jordan Peterson said, “The ultimate question of man is not who he is but who he could become.” We are drawn to them because this is how life happens. Donald Miller says in A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, “If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. If I got any comfort as I set out on my first story, it was that in nearly every story, the protagonist is transformed.”
In any good story, we find these basic plots, where the character aspires to something but encounters a problem and nonetheless seeks to overcome the obstacles but comes to despair. However, with the help of a guide, he takes up the responsibility and acts, through this journey, he emerges as a transformed person recovering something more valuable than what was lost.
So why are we motivated by a narrative? Because they provide a sense of identity and belonging by uniting us with our tribes. They provide us a path forward by shaping our aspirations and providing a moral landscape to navigate and reach our fullest potential.
How Do We Choose Them?
We live amidst numerous competing and continuously evolving narratives and meta-narratives. However, do we logically evaluate and decide which narrative to live out? Most likely not, that is not how it happens. Rene Girard, a French thinker, came up with a brilliant theory called the Mimetic theory of desire. He said, “Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.”
To us humans, the praise of the praiseworthy is above all rewards. Even though modern cultures talk about self-assertion, we can’t bless or validate ourselves. We need our tribe or cheerleaders who model our desires, bless us, somebody that we respect and adore to the sky affirm us to boost our self-worth.
We are entranced by those with lofty aims and we wish, if we are brave, to be possessed by their spirit. We aim at their aims or hope to see what they see, experience the emotions they feel, and learn the lessons they learn. All our aspirations are mediated through them — our models.
They could be a person, group of people/ tribes, real or fictional, who help show us what is worth wanting. It is largely a social process in response to our need for identity, belonging, and significance. Attaining some of their stature or identifying with them boosts our self-regard.
In collectivistic cultures, people identify with their ethnic tribes or cultural traditions, their roles and their narratives. If they live up to our tribe’s expectations they feel high self-regard. If they fail they face humiliation since they are generally shame and honour cultures.
But in modern individualistic cultures, we take pride in finding our ‘unique identity’ and the narrative we want to write. We are encouraged to be self-assertive and to look into our hearts to find our identity and purpose.
But that is somewhat superficial, we are not really that unique. We are more like our tribes. We continue to identify with our tribes and their narratives, nevertheless, in individualistic cultures, we could freely reject one and choose another that seems promising.
Therefore, for some, narratives are assigned and others choose them. However we encounter them, they are mediated through our models who demand us to live up to their expectations.
But Can We Trust Them?
If stories are pointers to value, and we are attracted to them to attain a desired self-understanding and self-regard mediated through our models, can they fail us? Unfortunately, reality shows that narratives can fail us.
Narratives of expressive individualism are illusory, incoherent, and unstable, because deep inside my desires contradict, they are discordantly ordered and constantly changing. Therefore, I cannot harmonize who I truly am. So the promise of a stable identity and self-worth is an illusion.
Traditional narratives can also become oppressive, they demand that we follow the rules and achieve results to acquire a desired sense of identity and self-worth. Sometimes they can even be used to justify scapegoating, abuse or even violence.
Therefore, be it in a traditional or individualistic culture, narratives can be either oppressive or liberating.
For example, if I was motivated by some kind of ‘Rags to Riches’ narrative where success is equated to the wealth I have accumulated. My sense of self-worth boosts when I accumulate expected wealth. People may call me a genius. But if I fail to meet the ever-changing expectations it shatters my sense of identity and self-worth. I am identified as a failure.
So, do all narratives fail us? What makes a few great? What should that story be?
What Then Should The Story Be?
In any good story, the protagonist sets out to achieve something desirable but initially fails, encounters ‘the dark night of the soul’ moment, and through it finds redemption and character transformation by something of greater value — a transcendental value.
For example, in the movie Finding Nemo, though Marlin sets out to find Nemo, in the end, he transforms into a better father. Marlin finding Nemo without any character transformation is not a story worth telling. The external need to find Nemo is just an opportunity for internal transformation the story wants to tell.
Likewise, Max Scheler, a German philosopher, suggested the Hierarchy of Values. In it, he places the sacred and holy at the top. Followed by spiritual values, vital values and at the bottom of the hierarchy pleasure values. He believes that higher values are inherently more important than lower ones.
Carl Jung, also acknowledges that we necessarily exist in a hierarchy of values that manifests itself all the time. Whether we are aware or not we inhabit them. Therefore, it is critical to conceptualize the sacred that we are capable of orienting ourselves towards.
Great narratives acknowledge our finite human condition yet place the sacred as ultimate to be pursued so that the hero eventually is redeemed and transformed by it. They point us to higher transcendental values like beauty, truth, goodness, justice, life, etc., that are absolute and eternal. They become a powerful life-changing force.
In such narratives, the character transforms from a chaotic self-centered personality to one with a stable sense of identity and self-worth within an intimate community. Discovering a clear order of value and desire, a sense of purpose and a hopeful destiny.
We are drawn to narratives that portray our longing for the sacred in our human experiences. Is it because we are made to be in the image of God? However, in life, we tend to reverse the hierarchy, prioritising the fleeting power and materialistic pleasures leading towards the profane. Why this duality?
The Gospel Narrative
To me, the Gospel narrative is the greatest meta-narrative man has ever known, mediated through Christ. It is the primary narrative from which all great stories are derived.
CS Lewis writes “…as myth transcends thought, Incarnation transcends myth.” Christ was the “myth became fact.” “The old myth of the Dying God, without ceasing to be a myth, comes down from the heaven of legend and imagination to the earth of history.”
This gospel narrative represents my human condition accurately and sets me on an adventure to rediscover my true identity, belonging and destiny in Christ. Offers to redeem me from my inability to transcend and transforms me into the image of God that I am made to be, through the power of His Spirit in me, by training me to rightly order my desires and values according to the will of God to reflect Christ’s beauty, goodness, truth, love, justice, humility, mercy, etc.
Here, my identity is received, not achieved. I am born-again as a child of God into the family of God. My stable sense of self and self-worth is not gained by following the rules, on the contrary, I abide by this identity because I am counted worthy. My identity is not in my ability but in my relationship with the one who is above all, my neighbours and the rest of creation.
It fulfils my need for identity, meaning and destiny, gives me a moral compass to navigate life’s challenges and, through them, transforms me into an eternal temple of God where God dwells.
It is a narrative of hope, peace, truth, and life, to overcome lies, fear, and death.
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