Bangalore Traffic — A Monumental Chaos

Mark Raja
5 min readJan 25, 2024
Generated by Nischal

First, the Progressive Bangaloreans, then the crony capitalists and currently the fundamentalist Bengaluru Sena who promised to fix the traffic problem have left Bangalore unlivable. They added more chaos to what now seems to be simple traffic jams. (You can read those stories here and here.) Now, it is not just a traffic problem, the city is virtually divided into a few walled enclaves like the Gaza Strip. It is a risky endeavour for anyone to travel across the city.

Initially, on the surface, the city seems to cope well, but uncertainty is troubling everyone. Due to the myriad number of checks we need to pass through, many are unable to attend to work. In an attempt to save jobs, some have managed to move close to their work, but high rents are making it impossible for many. Schools and colleges are still continuing online.

Some who could work online are barely saving their jobs for now, but many regional businesses aren’t doing well. Most of the MNCs have moved out due to this never-ending unrest. No one is sure if things will ever get to normal again.

Not just the immigrants, but now even the local Bangalorians are willing to leave the city for economic opportunities. Despite the crisis, the government is turning a blind eye because they are in agreement with the fundamentalist strategy.

After many appeals from a few concerned citizens, the Supreme Court has asked the government to immediately set up a task force to bring order. But before they could act, unawares, amidst this chaos, an influential minister who identifies as one of Bangalore’s original residents, also well known among Bengaluru Sena, seized the opportunity and created a new spark in the people’s imagination through his powerful speeches online.

Suddenly, things turned positive for locals. He has come into the scene as a saviour who promised to unite the city, bring the business back and take us back to Bangalore’s glorious past. He successfully managed to spur Bangalorean pride and ego. With his progressive outlook and fundamentalist ethos, he won people’s hearts.

His message of hope resonated with the original residents of all enclaves that the reason for this crisis was not them but the outsiders and outside influence. His new vision for Bangalore is to remove outsiders and their influence from the city and return to our forgotten ancient roots.

He summoned all the locals to return to the worship of the Boiled Beans from which Bengaluru got its name (“Benda-Kaal-uru”). Therefore, he promised to build an extravagant monument in honour of the Boiled Beans. With this great vision on his shoulders, he often portrayed himself as the Son of the Boiled Beans.

However, some locals disagreed with this Boiled Beans narrative that it wasn’t true, but he suppressed their voices. He immediately presented a working plan for building the monument, uniting the enclaves and fixing the traffic crisis.

He identified 70 acres of land at the heart of the city around MG Road to build this 160-meter-high magnificent beanstalk monument that reaches the heavens in honour of the Boiled Beans. He even claims that it can generate adequate revenue to finance the city administration. The High Court cleared all cases in his favour to acquire the land within a week.

As a solution to the traffic problem, he conceived a plan to erase all existing roads and carve out new roads in a way that all roads lead to the monument in a straight line. He wants all roads to lead to the beanstalk to receive its magic. Therefore, the current streets must be removed because we have built them with outsiders and outside influence.

The original Bangaloreans praised their messiah for his revolutionary vision. The assembly passed the resolution to relay roads according to the new plan. Even the high court did not object to this.

That means many homes, business centres, parks, lakes, schools, hospitals, religious places, etc., must be demolished and rebuilt according to the new plan. Famous places like Lalbagh, which Tippu Sultan planted, Cubbon Park, and even Bangalore Palace will be mostly erased.

Outsiders whose mother tongue is not Kannada and who are not natives of Bengaluru have no place in the city except to live outside and may only enter for work daily. That means close to half of the city needs to leave. This announcement created panic. Many tried to leave the city, but it was not possible due to limited access to roads. Some migrants walked back to their towns overnight on foot to escape from any violence from the original residents.

Demolition work has begun in full swing. All roads are practically closed except for essential and emergency needs. The Son of the Boiled Beans advised all native Bangaloreans to stay home and come out only for emergencies. He commended them for their sacrifices that will surely take the city for a better future.

Meanwhile, for those who remained in the city, the prices for essential commodities were no longer affordable for the commoners, and having humble boiled beans for a meal was out of reach. With no income due to lack of work, even the poor locals began leaving for another city for work.

The signs are pretty evident that the city has collapsed. Jammed roads with no people and empty marketplaces resemble a dystopian vision. The only noise we can hear is the celebration of the original Bangaloreans. They believe their saviour has the power to resurrect the collapsed city back again to its ancient glory as they see themselves at the threshold of their cultural renaissance.

Unlike those manipulating and exploiting the city for their gain, a sensible small minority of locals who are not fooled by this drama will organize to stop this chaos and restore the city they love with truth, diligence, and ability.

I am sincerely waiting to see how this trajectory will turn.

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Mark Raja

I mostly write to clarify my understanding. You will find my articles on themes like beauty, faith, hope, culture, and common good.